A great Helen Keller quote says, “Life is a bold and great adventure or it’s nothing.” What is this boldness and what does it mean to be courageous? Boldness is the single most important quality that attracts women to men because it shows courage and risk-taking. Adam Gilad of the F Normal! Podcast says normal is not made for you. Normal was made by people and institutions to serve other people and other institutions. Adam teaches men and women all around the world that a bold life is not only naturally magnetic to the other sex, whether in a relationship or dating, but also enlivening to who you are. Learn how you can expand your mind, your heart, and your sense of what’s possible in this lifetime as Adam talks about living the bold life.
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Live The Bold Life with Adam Gilad
I have the good fortune of interviewing Adam Gilad of the F Normal Podcast!. Adam, thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you, Seth. I’m happy to be here.
What is F Normal! all about?
F Normal! is the name of my podcast called F Normal! The Bold Life Giladcast. I run a company called the Bold Life and a tribe called the Bold Life Tribe. I have the Bold Life Wealth Academy, Bold Life Brotherhood, and Bold Life Awakening Weekend. I think you get the theme of what I’m about.
I’m sensing. Maybe I have to be a bit psychic to pull out the word. The word bold keeps showing up in my mind for some reason.
A quick background. I was an academic and I did my graduate work at Stanford. I was a Hollywood screenwriter-producer for many years. I was Emmy-nominated. I got single at 39 and I had no idea how to be single. I wandered out into the world of being single with a great writing skill. I taught poetry and writing at Stanford, scripts and all that stuff. I got fascinated by language. I was playing with online dating profiles for fun while I was writing movies for Disney. I taught a course for people on how to access world wisdom as a way to express who they are. I was teaching that in my spare time because I was trying to save myself from Hollywood. I went to my first Internet marketing seminar in 2004 and heard that there was a guy making $7 million a year teaching dating advice. I said, “I know something about that.”
My profile online got plucked. I was on a TV show on ABC called How to Get The Guy and I was the guy. My profile started like this “You are inspired and inspiring vivacious and witty with a great open-hearted laugh. Joy swims around you. You can’t help it.” I could go with the NLP of it, the poetry and the semiotics of it, but I was doing the opposite of what everyone else was doing who were bragging about themselves. I wrote a book for men and for women on how to speak the language of the other gender using my background in psychology and semiotics. They became huge hits. Suddenly, I had this giant dating business and it was fascinating. As I got a bigger audience and the questions became deeper, I deepened. Then, I started teaching what it means to communicate. What does it mean to be authentic? I have a program for men and women called the “Attract -Connect- Inspire” which are the three levels of deep connection.
What I hit on for men was from a book called 59 Seconds and I will have Dr. Richard Wiseman on my podcast. University studies show that boldness is the single most important quality that attracts women to men because it shows courage and risk-taking. It also spoke to me about my life because I got married very young. I subsumed myself in my marriage. I buried a lot of my boldness in trying to make everything okay in the marriage, which is a noble cause. I lost myself as many men do and women as well. I started digging into what is this boldness? What is it to be courageous? What I have experienced years now, I’ve been teaching for fourteen years, I’m teaching men and women all around the world, that a bold life is not only naturally magnetic to the other sex, whether in a relationship or dating, but also enlivening to who you are. I call it F Normal to be provocative. I always say F Normal or normal will F you. Normal is not made for you. Normal was made by people and institutions to serve other people and other institutions.
When people move through life in a semi-sleep, they’re living out the habits that they’ve developed because their parents gave them to, their school, their religion or their local culture. They’re not expressing the unique human being that each of us is and get to be. I hit on boldness and it’s called F Normal. It has two meanings by the way. F Normal is like F Normal but don’t live out what normal was told to you. Discover what enlivens you. The other idea of F Normal, copulate with what’s normal. See what’s out there. Bring your uniqueness into interaction with everything that you’ve grown up with, experience and create a new baby. The new baby that you F Normal with should be unique and should be your actual self-expression. To me, if you go through life and don’t boldly live the life that you’re called to live internally and externally, it’s a waste. Why not? You’ve got one shot at this. That’s why it’s called F Normal.
What prompted you to F Normal? You talked about how you had the journey in your own life and started with attract, ignite, and inspire. When was the a–ha moment of I need to take this to the next level?
My F Normal came very early in life, maybe eight, standing at the school bus stop in the freezing snow in New York before I moved out here to sunny California. I grew up in the Hudson Valley. Watching my dad and all the other dads get into their cars on freezing cold mornings, trying to start the car. I watched all these fathers go into the city every day and work in a glass box. They come home 7:30 after traffic, bedraggled, their tie open, have a little dinner with mom, have a drink, open the New York Times, and fall asleep. I very early said, “I’m not going to do this. This is not the life I’m going to live. There is a big, gorgeous world out there.” From a very early age, I started funding my own travels, because we had no money. I’ve always lived that, like this is a gorgeous, amazing gift of life. I don’t mean that as a cliché but really, truly.
I set out very early in life to test everything I grew up with. I lived all around the world in my teens and twenties. In my 30’s I stayed put raising kids. 40’s back all around the world again and 50s as well. It was early intuition that I had that life is precious. Also, my sister died when I was very young so I had that life is a precious message driven home the hard way. I’ve always never taking life for granted and always saw it as a great adventure. Helen Keller boldly has a great quote. She says, “Life is a bold and great adventure or it’s nothing.” I’ve always lived that way. With that idea, then the question isrefining what is it to live a bold life. It’s not just being in reaction.
When you’re a teenager in your twenties, you’re in a reaction against your parents, culture and your upbringing. You’re trying to identify who you are against something. As you get into your 30’s, 40’s and more, it’s that internal boldness of the courage to bring out who you are, not necessarily in reaction to anyone, but because it’s calling to you. The process of living a bold life is internal and external. It’s an ongoing courageous exploration, which is what the podcast is about. Bringing people and also profiles of people I consider are bold, courageous and inspiring. I’m bringing people to open up, expand the listener’s minds, their hearts, and their sense of what’s possible in this lifetime and any static plateauing that people fall into.
What do you want to be when you grow up?Growing up is a process of growing. Click To Tweet
I don’t want to grow up. I always say I’m trying to find my inner adult. We’re always growing up. We’re growing in, we’re growing out. I’ve said to my kids, “If I went off to the Amazon and I don’t come back, if I happened to die in my 50’s, don’t mourn my life. I was one of the lucky ones.” I feel like I’ve always done what was most important to me. In my twenties, I got to travel the world and study with some of the greatest minds in the world. In my 30’s, I got to raise my children, write movies for Disney and write movies for TV. I had spent my afternoons with my kids. In my 40’s, I go to live my twenties because I got divorced at 39. I had an amazing 40’s. My 50’s is all coming together. Growing up is a process of growing. When I was a little kid, I used to think growing up means you’re an adult when you’re 25 and then you plateau until you retire at 65. That was the model I had. It’s like you’re done at 25. You get a job and you’re done. Growing up is constant for me.
Who are the types of people that you like working with the most in the Bold Tribe?
I have this program and it’s one of my highest level program called the Bold Life Brotherhood. It’s a weekly learning that we do together online. It’s based on lots of what I consider the most provocative, evocative, soul-expanding writers and thinkers who have ever lived. We also travel the world. We went to Italy to explore the lover archetype aspect of who we are. We’ve done Warrior Weekends exploring the warrior aspect. We went to Italy of course because we’re better for lovers. What does it mean to love life? We did a gourmet cooking school. We climbed Mt. Etna. What does it mean to love women? We explore that subject, an ongoing one like how to connect deeply. We went to Greece to explore kingship. We went to the Yucatán to explore the magician element. These are all archetypes from young’s work.
Who do I enjoy working with? The guys who come are amazing. One guy was a ballet dancer and now he’s a tango teacher in Argentina. He had a beautiful, exquisite sensitivity to women. He said, “When you dance with a woman, it’s like you’re holding your heart in her hand for three to five minutes.” He had this beautiful and tender approach. I had another guy who is a hotelier. He builds hotels all around the world and he’s a spiritual adventurer. He loves more spiritual adventures like Peru and things like that. I have ex-army officers who I love because of their experience, they’re very disciplined and they also understand their constriction. They’re excited about opening up.Everyone's got masks. Everyone holds back. Everyone's afraid to say things. Click To Tweet
The thing that I love about the people I work with is that they come raw. They’re raw, ready, and like, “Let’s bring it.” They’re not masking themselves. They’re F Normal. They say, “This is my norm and it’s not all I can be. I know I’m not loving as much as I can love. I know I’m not loved as much as I could be loved. I know I’m not waking up every day as excited about life as I could be.” That is why they come to me. That’s what we do at our opening weekend by the way. I call it the Awakening Weekend. How to awaken to these things? We talk about it, but when you do it, you get it. Day one, we awaken to who we are as individuals. Day two, we awaken to what we could be in a relationship because everyone’s got masks, me too. Everyone’s got masks. Everyone holds back. Everyone’s afraid to say things. On day three, we explore what it means to be awake as a man in the world, as a leader and as a participant. The guys who come in are raw. They don’t hold back. We start doing the exercises and the practices. They’re in full force. That’s what I love. What I don’t like are people who are masked, half asleep and protecting the thing they think is them instead of being open to the process that they are.
For our folks who want to learn more about all things bold, Adam, and F Normal themselves, where is the best place for us to send them?
The F Normal! Podcast it’s called F Normal!- The Bold Life Giladcast. Please visit AdamGilad.com. My Facebook group is called the Bold Life Community. I’m changing it to the Bold Life Tribe at some point. Try both of those depending on when you’re listening to that. Go to AdamGilad.com/21Laws and you can download my book for free The 21 Laws of Boldness. That to me is a foundation of breaking out from anything that’s constricting.
Thank you so much for being here. We greatly appreciate your time. Thanks everybody. Adam, thank you so much for being here.
It’s my absolute pleasure.
- Adam Gilad
- F Normal! The Bold Life Giladcast
- Bold Life Wealth Academy
- “Attract -Connect- Inspire”
- 59 Seconds
- Bold Life Community
- The 21 Laws of Boldness
About Adam Gilad
A prolific author, speaker, screenwriter, film producer, mentor and coach, Adam Gilad lives to spark his readers, clients and audiences into creating a robust, daring and fearless life of love, adventure and nurturance. An Emmy Nominated Executive Producer, Adam’s award-winning films have appeared on USANetworks, Lifetime and TNT. He has authored over 20 television shows and teaches dating, intimacy and deep eros. Adam has authored countless audio trainings and written several books, specializing in learning the “language” of the other gender, cultivating a dance of the sexes rather than a “battle,” the play of sexual polarity as well as a determined fearlessness in self-awareness, self-evolution, global responsibility, compassion and forgiveness.